Glaciators’ Review – Hot Blood On Cold Ice

‘Glaciators’ Review – Hot Blood On Cold Ice
From We Get Signal , the developer that brought us Super Busker , comes the nifty new release Glaciators .

. Released in January as a PC downloadable for just $1, Glaciators is fast-paced survival on ice, featuring cutely cartoonish skaters armed with deadly javelins and multiplayer gameplay for up to four participants.

In a rather literal interpretation of “sudden death,” each player controls a team of three skaters competing against three other teams to be the sole survivors at the end of a short, sixty-second match. You can take on up to three of your closest friends – or enemies, or even frenemies – or the computer. The AI is averagely intelligent at best and has a self-defeating habit of sending its own skaters flying face-first into walls and holes in the ice. It’s not impossible to lose, but it does require a certain level of gaming laziness not to win at least most of the time. Glaciators is nothing if not a chill experience.

That is not to say, however, that it is a boring experience. Maybe it’s just me, but there seems to be a certain undeniable satisfaction in jabbing a key and sending a harpoon flying through the heart of one’s opponent, then doing a quick pirouette across a trail of blood as their lifeless corpse slides to a stop just a few feet away. It’s no Happy Tree Friends , but there is just enough blood to effectively rob it of its deceptively innocent façade – but then, what’s a little murder among friends?

Controls are easy and customizable, with only directional keys and the javelin-throwing key to worry about, and the game generally runs as smoothly as the skaters skate. (Bonus: it supports most gamepads and joysticks as well as the traditional keyboard.) One slight issue is that, for whatever reason, the player’s skater will not respond until the player clicks the mouse once within the playfield. While this is not a huge issue, it would be nice if this didn’t happen at the start of every single match.

Aesthetics are simple in Glaciators . Crowd walla and a peppy, arcade-style soundtrack keep the atmosphere upbeat, and bright color coding helps differentiate skaters from different teams. As a nice touch, white skate paths are just barely visible against the ice. The holes that appear in the ice, on the other hand, are perhaps the least impressive feature, appearing suddenly as plain blue rectangles and disappearing just as suddenly at random.

Of course, if you’re playing for the graphics quality, you’re missing the point. If you want big-budget special effects, larger than life landscapes and buckets of blood, get thee to Hollywood. Glaciators is nothing more and nothing less than a fun little diversion from the dullness of the everyday, a game offering sixty seconds of escape with a quirky little grin and a morbid glint in its eye. It’s not likely to open the doors of perception and irreversibly change the course of your life, but it does what games do best – it distracts us, from paperwork, from schoolwork, or from housework, at least for a few bloody seconds.

Fans of ice skating and javelin-murder can visit the official sitenow to purchase Glaciators for $1. The download currently features both the game and a Glaciators wallpaper, just in case you happen to have a particular fancy for orange parkas.

[review pros=”Fun, fast-paced competitive gameplay, upbeat soundtrack, inexpensive” cons=”Lacks ambition, graphics could use polish, slight issue with character responsiveness” score=73]