Punch a unicorn! Fighting nature in Oblivion

A four-year-old game, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion continues to draw thousands thanks to a hallmark of PC gaming--freedom.

A four-year-old game, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion continues to draw thousands thanks to a hallmark of PC gaming--freedom. The game raises you from a rutty hole in the ground, and with a "go-on, git!" and kick, you're in a world were just about anything is possible. Today, I'm an orc. My mission: Kick. Nature's. Ass.

Arty is an orc of humble machinations. As a pup, he witnessed the slaughter of his parents by a huge swarm of sewer rats. His mother placed him in the hollow of a log while they tried to fend off the attack, but the rodents were too much. Arty was found lying in a pool of his parents' blood and didn't speak for another two years, but when he finally did, he was surprisingly well-adjusted. Unfortunately, the ridicule he received in high school for his striking blue hair was more than enough to push poor Arty over the edge. Try as he might, Arty can't help but venture into the forest every so often to punch the snot out of woodland critters.

With a back story in place, I'm ready to take to wilds. In the past I've been a necromancer and a gladiator and even a librarian, but a recent run-in with a raccoon has found me ravenous for retribution. I start small, maybe a fish will satiate my temper.

Nope, not even close. I'm going to have to take Arty out for some real game. Let's see, I buck perhaps?

Still no. There's still ripped trash bags from the raccoon, the buck got away, and Arty's hair is still blue. Arty and I will have to think even bigger if we're ever going to rest easy again.